Confidence is Key … but How?

I have always been an insecure person. When I was a little girl, I was very anxious and I was called fat (more than once) when I was little, which produced a lot of insecurities in my life.

I think when someone struggles with an eating disorder for the most part … even if you don't struggle with an eating disorder, I think if we are all honest … most everyone can struggle with insecurities ... they may just look different from one person to the next.

With that being said, people who had this confidence about them, always stood out to me. It was people who had real, true confidence … a healthy confidence, not a haughty confidence but a healthy confidence … they stood out to me … a lot. 

I always wanted what they had. I was starving for it but didn’t know how to get it, I had no idea how to achieve that healthy confidence.

I mean have you ever wanted that or seen that in a person? 

That desire to be the size you are and not keep wishing away your imperfections. To be able to be who you are when you talk to whoever it may be. To be able to accept all of you. That you wouldn’t change yourself from one person to the next. That you would be able to stand confidently in the middle of a group of people instead of being swallowed up with the overwhelming sense of “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not pretty enough”, “If only I had _____” or, “If only I looked like _____” ... you fill in the blank.

So how does one overcome this? I thought it was impossible! But it’s not. I’m not saying I’ve got it, yes I still struggle … but it’s better! So what is the answer??

Acceptance. I remember being told this by my mom and sister, and I didn't believe them. And then I saw the transformation in one of my sisters and I knew it was true. Well, then I tried it and it didn’t work. So I tried it again … and it didn’t work. So I kept trying … until it worked. 

I learned that acceptance has to come from the very depths of your mind and heart. It takes accepting your mistakes, accepting your imperfections and accepting who you are all the way down to the tips of your toes to the depths of your heart. And that takes practice, time, discipline and diligence. 

It’s hard and it’s taken me years. And I’ve got more to learn. But you have to be willing to accept who you are today. Not when you get _____ fixed. Or not when you lose _____ amount of weight. Or not next week after you have done _____.

No excuses. It starts today and it starts right now with you. You have to choose to start saying “no” to the lies that tell you you aren’t good enough. You have to stop comparing yourself to everyone you see and you have to start standing tall even when you feel like hiding. 

Or you can always keep going about your day being overcome and worn out by the usual flood of lies that keeps you locked in a prison. Always exhausting yourself throughout the day listening to the lies that keep you hidden and stuck.

Listen, believing the lies, hiding from the world, giving in to all the insecurities is waaaaay more exhausting than standing up today, determining not to listen to the lies and standing up for who you are and not changing yourself for different people. 

Trust me on this. I know because I have lived it, and failed at it over and over again. But I have kept fighting to get to a place in my life where I am not so insecure anymore. I am becoming stronger and more secure everyday with who I am in Christ. It takes acceptance … and it works. 

Accept yourself today. Not just some of you … no! All of you. Don’t wait any longer. Start today. You won’t regret it! :)

~ Natalie